Week 33

It's hard to believe it was a month ago today that I went to the hospital for the placenta abruption.  That day seems like it was just a couple days past and yet it also seems like eons ago... on one hand the stress of the experience and the nerves of it happening again make me feel just as scared as I did in the truck driving to the Stafford Hospital ER, but the boredom and anxiousness brought on by modified bed rest and limited activity make the action of it all seem like a completely different lifetime.  Overall I'd venture to say I'm far more agitated about the progression of things than I'd like to admit, but I'm sure if you were in my shoes you'd be just as concerned and anxious to have a healthy baby to hold and this pregnancy behind you.

Apparently NST go a lot faster after downing
Starburst to fight off blood sugar lows...
Go figure, sugar makes Baby active.

We had our first weekly appointment with the Perinatologist on Tuesday and that officially kicks off the routine non-stress tests and fetal weight screenings.  They did the 13th sonogram of this pregnancy and, much to my relief, it showed that Baby is looking pretty good.  The amniotic fluid levels are normal, the placenta seems to be as stable as it can be given its injury (and does not show signs of advanced calcification), her weight is a bit high at 4 lbs 12 oz but more or less on track for her gestational age and she fortunately remains vertex.  The sonographer was a bit concerned about Baby's leg growth and repetitively measured her femur to ensure her readings were accurate... but her worried expression vanished when she looked at HB and announced "oh, you're the source of stumpy legs" (no, I did not stifle my laugh).   Unfortunately for our daughter, she wont have my long legs, but I think it's actually safe to say that HB is quite relieved and happy about that.

Looking over things, Dr. Bronsky was generally happy with the progression (or lack there of with particular regards to my cervix) of things and recommended that I "continue doing what you're doing" (ug).  He agreed that my recent blood sugar logs are of concern and asked me to keep them posted if hypoglycemic episodes persist because while it looks like the cause may be Baby's appetite (trend estimates for her birth weight were I to make to to 40 weeks are currently in the mid 9 lb range), my placenta has been a persistent concern of theirs and they don't want to take chances.

So I'll head back in again next week for another round of flaming hoops to waddle through and we'll go from there.  If things continue as is, we'll be scheduling an induction (or c-section, depending on how things look at that point) for the week of Thanksgiving or the week after.  While I am glad things are stabilized enough for the doctors to make such statements, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I hope Baby arrives a bit sooner than that... the persistent concern for her safety, the continuation of increasingly painful contractions and the heart wrenchingly painful look of disappointment on my son's face when I tell him that no, I still cannot pick him up is just a lot to emotionally handle for another four or five weeks.  Obviously I want her to be at a gestational age that is healthy for her to come out and I want to avoid the use of the NICU if we can, but as soon as those boxes are checked lets get this baby girl out and move on from pregnancy complications to new baby bliss.

In additional news, I also had an appointment yesterday with the Endocrinologist since the whole plan to fax in my logs completely fell flat.  The nurse practitioner thoroughly reprogrammed my pump and decreased my insulin rates almost across the board.  Two weeks ago my total daily basal rate amounted to 17.5 units and now it's back to 15.3 -- while that might not seem like a lot to those of you who are diabetic or understand insulin usage, it's a huge amount for someone like me who is so extremely insulin sensitive.  She also adjusted my target blood glucose ranges to be slightly higher to ensure that I'm not dropping lower than I really need to -- so even if the 70s are "safe" to be in, why not shoot for the 80s or 90s and hope for better bg averages?   Fair enough.  I'll go back and see her in three weeks if my blood sugar stabilizes and maintains safe ranges, otherwise I'll see her sooner as necessary.

So... where does that leave me?

Well, at 33.5 weeks, it leaves me waiting for what's next and prepping the nursery, house and family for the arrival of Baby.  I've been doing a bunch of research on diabetes and infant mothering (remember, I'm brand new to this combination) and it's amazing how intertwined the pancreas is to each of the choices I make and, since that little baby is entirely dependent on external care for quite some time,  her overall well being.  As this post is long enough as is, I'll save it for another day, but let it suffice to say that I'm generally overwhelmed by information overflow, physically uncomfortable, anxious for safe delivery and ready to get this show on the road... Granted ready for Baby and ready for Hurricane Sandy are two very different things, but let's just hope that Baby understands that things have been complicated enough as is without being born during the - to quote the Washington Post - most "unprecedented and bizarre" storm that "may be unlike anything the region has ever experienced."  We'll see how that goes.