Happy Easter!

About two years ago now, HB and I began to talk about a void in our life that we'd previously disregarded:  faith.  Personally, not having grown up in a religious family or having any sort of spiritual expression, I'd only thought about the meaning of life or the "bigger picture" in existential terms, which worked for me.  But given the changes in our lives since 2006 when HB and I met, namely our marriage, arrival of children and my diagnosis, we began to wonder if there was something more than what we wanted to give the universe credit for.

Being self-identifying logical, rational and scientific people, it was a mental stretch to go from zero to GOD, but for this personal reason and that family value we opened the door for the possibility. Seeking a community of like minded, morals based people, a better acceptance of that which we don't understand and an avenue through which we can continue to pursue self-growth we methodically researched and discussed spiritual faith and organized religion.  Ultimately the right "fit" for our family became obvious and we made an active choice to open our hearts to the Grace and Love of God and our minds to the learning opportunities the Divine sets before us.

So, last night at the Easter Vigil, after months of RCIA preparation and personal prayer, I finally joined the rest of my family as an official Catholic.  We're so grateful to all of you who have supported us through this process and for the understanding you've freely given for the choices we've made for our life.  No matter what, if any, faith you practice I gratefully thank God for your kindness and compassion... I only hope that I may be increasingly grace-full in my actions and words so as to be to you what you've been to me.  Even if you randomly read this blog and don't know me from Adam, I appreciate your time and hope you find my blog to be helpful in whatever way it can be.

With that, Happy Easter to all!  

The Easter Bunny (who as we all know 

is a primarily benevolent pooka) visited

GW and GV while we were at mass.  He

left quite an egg adventure (which GW 

thoroughly conquered) and generously gave

the kids matching his & hers froggy friends.

Unfortunately he mischievously left some 

bunny droppings on the carpet, but hey, what can you expect from an invisible 

6 foot 3.5 inch tall rabbit?  

Lent Recipe #7: Pasta Alfredo

It's the last Friday in Lent (already?!) and that means this is my last abstinence inspired recipe for the year.  I've really enjoyed the last seven weeks of eating at home and, seeing as I've learned how to cook seafood I'd previously avoided, I think I'll be returning to several of these shrimp and fish recipes in the near future!  Although the recipe for tonight was incredibly unhealthy, it is obnoxiously easy and gets "I'd pay for this food" comments from Grandmama and HB -- which might in fact be the only compliment I actually accept.

Fettuccine (I use something smaller like girelle because it is bite size for GW)

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 stick unsalted butter, cut into pieces

2/3 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

2 Tbsp champagne vinegar

1 lb cooked shrimp
Parsley

Cook fettuccine in a pasta pot of boiling salted water until al dente.  Drain and set aside.

In a heavy skillet over medium-low heat, mix together the cream and butter and bring it to a gentle simmer.  Add roughly 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper (I typically do it to taste rather than measure, so this is an estimate).   Dump in about half of the Parmigiano-Reggiano and whisk until the cheese is no longer stringy and is fully incorporated into the cream sauce.  Repeat with second half of cheese.  Add the champagne vinegar for a touch of acidity and add more salt to taste.  Finally, throw in the cooked shrimp just long enough to heat through (don't over cook them!!) and remove the sauce from heat.

Toss the shrimp and sauce with the pasta and garnish with parsley.

USMC 26.2

It's official.  We're signed up.  We're running the Marine Corp Marathon in October!

I have been so reluctant to write about it for fear I'd jinx myself out of an entrance slot, but by the grace of God HB and I some how managed to secure two spots.  Sign ups were an overwhelming, exhausting experience -- and we haven't even started running yet!

Registration for active duty personnel opened a couple weeks back, but open public registration began yesterday at noon with the disclaimer that it was expected to sell out faster than last year (2012 registration closed in 2 hours 41 minutes).  As you can imagine, I sat staring at the clock waiting for my chance to spend far too much money on 26.2 miles hours before 12:00 rolled around.  Asking Grandmama to cover down on the kids so I had fewer distractions, I set multiple alarms on my phone and clung to my credit card for fear that I'd forget the number and absentmindedly miss my opportunity until October 2014 - which yes, is much too far away to satisfy my current motivation.

So with six minutes and 15 seconds left on their countdown widget, I held my breath in over excited anticipation of having something big to focus on and work toward... and then, just as the clock struck noon and I hit the "REGISTER NOW!" button my heart practically stopped when the "ERROR" messages immediately began.  Trying over and over and over again to access the sign in page the entire USMC Marathon page crashed, which apparently their "engineers [were] aware of the issue" and that I should "check back again in a short while."

Short while my eye!! I WAS NOT ABOUT TO WAIT PATIENTLY AND THEN BE STUCK ON THE SIDELINES UNTIL 2014!

Three times I managed to get to the form page, filled it out and burst into tears as their server crashed again and failed to let me purchase the entrance fee.  After one hour of furious cyber-warfare, repetitive prayers and multiple "Mommy needs to focus, don't touch the computer" comments to GW, HB and I decided to give up the ghost and forfeit the effort we were putting in when the "the race you have selected is no longer available" messages began.  Heart broken, I futilely hit refresh again and again and again waiting for the reality that we'd missed our chance to sink in.

But then... 1 hour 24 minutes after starting this battle, the form page miraculously reappeared in front of me.  Could it be?  I filled it out for me and the registration was added to my cart... I filled it out for HB and his registration was added to my cart... I put in the credit card info and hit submit...  and ...

Hallelujah!! So on October 27, 2013, for the first time, we're running a marathon!  Now that the "easy part" of registering is over, the fun part begins... TRAINING RUNS!

"If the ultimate goal is to reach heaven, the finish line, 

then we must train our hearts and our feet so as to win."

1 Corinthians 9:24

Bah, the inside joke.

For those of you who know me personally, you'll find this funny... for everyone else, ignore this and assume I'm hilarious.  

So my son, GW, really enjoys a game we call "BAH!" where he attempts to play hide and seek but fails to stay hidden because he would rather jump out and yell "BAH!" than wait to be found.  Last night, just as HB was arriving home from work, he was met at the front door by GW who was wildly yelling "BAH" as a combination greeting and game request.

Sweeping the child up into his arms and tossing him over a shoulder, HB walks into the kitchen where I am busily cooking and says, "He must get that from your side of the family."

To which I reply, "Yes, he bah's well, doesn't he?"

Lent Recipe #6: Rick Bayless' Chile-Garlic Shrimp

So this will be a quick post because it needs absolutely no ado, but let this warning suffice: this is not for the faint of heart!  I served this over plain home made pasta to cut the heat, but rice would probably have worked better.

Chef Rick Bayless' Chile Garlic Shrimp

1 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup chopped garlic
1/2 tsp salt
1 pint fresh figs (our grocer didn't have these, so I had to use dried)
1/2 cup almonds, toasted and chopped
2 limes
2 cans chipotle chiles in adobo sauce, drained, seeded and cut into strips
2 lbs prawns, peeled and deveined
3 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro or flat-leaf parsley

1.  In a small saucepan, combine the oil, garlic and salt and bring to the barest simmer over very low heat.  Cook, stirring occasionally until the garlic is golden brown. Roughly 10 minutes.

2.  Remove garlic sauce from heat and reserve 1 1/2 Tbsp oil  Add the fig and almond to the pan.

3.  Raise the heat to medium and squeeze in the juice of 1 lime and simmer until most of the juice has evaporated, about 5 minutes.  Stir in the chiles, taste and adjust the salt.  Reduce the heat to low and keep warm.

4.  Cut the remaining lime into 6 wedges and reserve.

5. In a large nonstick skillet, heat the reserved oil over medium high heat.  Add half the prawns to the skillet, sprinkle generously with salt and gently stir or shake until the prawns are just pink and opaque throughout, 3-4 minutes.

6. Stir in half the cilantro or parsley.  Remove from heat and transfer to a deep serving plater. Repeat to cook the remaining prawns.  Toss with the sweet garlic sauce to taste and pass the lime wedges.

Lent Recipe #5: Salmon with Shrimp, Mushroom and Brandy Cream Sauce

• With some very special friends in town this weekend, HB did the cooking tonight and I am so so excited to share his recipe.  Originally this recipe was meant for veal cutlets, but it's a Friday during Lent and I am absolutely, ridiculously in love with salmon so he swapped the cutlets for fillets.  We served the fish along side a green salad and oh my goodness (!!) I want him to cook this every night!
• 
  
• 6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter
• 1 red onion, halved, thinly sliced
• 8 ounces mushrooms, stemmed, caps thinly sliced
• 6 tablespoons brandy (get the best you can, the buttery quality of good brandy makes a big difference)
• 1 cup chicken stock
• 1 cup beef stock
• 1 cup whipping cream

• 6 ounce salmon fillets 

• 24 cooked shrimp, peeled, chopped

Melt 2 tablespoons butter in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Once frothy, add the onion and sauté for 4 minutes until it becomes translucent. Add mushrooms and sauté for 3 minutes until beginning to brown. Remove skillet from heat and add brandy. With the utmost care that you don't burn down your house or loose your eye brows, carefully ignite the brandy. When the flames subside, return the skillet to heat. Simmer the mixture until the brandy is almost evaporated - should take roughly 1 minute.  Add beef and chicken stock and let it boil for 5 minutes before adding the cream as well.  Let the sauce boil it coats spoon, about 14 minutes.  Toss the chopped shrimp into the sauce to heat through, then remove the skillet from heat.

In a separate skillet, heat 2 Tbsp oil and 2 Tbsp butter until frothy.  Sprinkle salt and pepper onto the salmon fillets and place in the pan.  Cook the fish for roughly 2-4 minutes per side until the salmon has a nice sear and flakes.  Remove from skillet.  

Divide the salmon onto plates and top with shrimp, mushrooms and brandy cream sauce.  ENJOY!

OWWWWWW!

Remember how I said I bought two new pairs of shoes? One pair of minimalist and one pair of normal running shoes? Well, I found out the hard way why they say to break them in slowly.

Seeing that it was the first beautiful, sunny day we've had in a while, we went up to DC for a run and picnic yesterday.  Intending to do only 3 miles around the National Mall and then a quite sandwich lunch near the Tidal Basin, I stupidly reminded HB that the last time we went up there we decided that the next DC run would include a trip up Capital Hill... which lengthens our typical route by 2 miles.  Ignorant of what the extra distance was about to do to my body, I was thrilled to be out for a run and the shoes felt fantastic as we powered up and back down the Hill!  I was moving easier, taking shorter strides and pushing off much harder than I had been previously - I remember at one point HB even commented that our running pace dropped down to 7:36!! Of course we haven't been running enough lately to hold that pace, but dang! These minimalist shoes dramatically change my gate and stride turn over!

About the time that we looped around the Reflecting Pool, I began noticing that my calves were tight and much more tired than normal.  By running on my toes instead of using a whole-foot strike, I was engaging my calves for essentially the first time, but I had no freaking clue how sore I'd be today.

AND OH MY GOODNESS.  I cannot move...  I look like a thoroughly broken, overly stiff old woman today!  Needless to say, I've learned my lesson: I will never again do long training runs in minimalist shoes!!

Oh, and thanks to Mommy Brain, I completely forgot
 about the marvelous invention of sunscreen.  OOPS.  At least they match.

Lent Recipe #4: Seared Scallops with Oranges

So as a special birthday dinner for me and my Mom, I decided to go out of my comfort zone tonight and cook one of my favorite foods: scallops.  I've always been intimidated by scallops because it seems oh so easy to screw up the cooking of them so that either wind up undercooked and gross or overcooked and rubbery.  But taking Lent as an excuse to try something new that I'd LOVE to order at a restaurant tonight, I fond a great recipe from Chef Curtis Stone that I wanted to try.

Fortunately for me, saving myself from permanent cyber embarrassment, the scallops turned out perfectly and the family gobbled them up with several compliments.  I think this one will permanently join my cooking repertoire... hope you like it too!

1.5 cups orange juice
2 tsp heavy whipping cream
5 Tbsp butter
1 Tbsp oil
12 jumbo scallops
1 blood orange, peel and white pith removed
Curly leaf parsley

In a sauce pan over medium heat, simmer the orange juice for about 25 minutes or until it reduces to 1/3 cup.  Add the cream and return the mixture to a gentle simmer.  Remove from heat.  A few pieces at a time, add the butter to the orange and cream reduction by constantly whisking until thoroughly blended.  Once all of the butter is incorporated, season the sauce with salt and pepper and set it aside in a warm spot to ensure that it doesn't break.

Place an empty, heavy based skillet over high heat for 2 minutes.  Meanwhile season the scallops with salt and pepper.  Pour the 1 Tbsp of oil into the hot pan and add the scallops.  Sear the scallops about 4 minutes on each side until they are just opaque in the center and golden brown on both sides.

Transfer the scallops to your serving dish and garnish with segments of the blood orange.  Drizzle your orange cream sauce over top and add an extra splash of color with with sprigs of parsley.

Can't believe I made that!! Go me!

3 Month Check Up

So I am having a really hard time believing that it has already been 3 months since my last endocrinology check up, but since GV is already 14 weeks old and time just seems to be flying past I guess I buy it.  Originally, my appointment was scheduled for two days ago, but seeing as this is Northern Virginia and any sign of snow makes the entire region shut down, the "snowquester" got it pushed back to this afternoon.

With GW, GV and Grandmama in tow, I met with the wonderful Dr. Rogacz for a routine diabetes check-up for the first time!  Pleased with my weight loss and new HgA1C number of 5.8 (that is down from 6.2 mind you), she announced she wasn't concerned about my diabetes care in the slightest and that I am doing remarkably well.

Inquiring about my longer term plans for additional pregnancies and care planning purposes, I told Dr. Rogacz I intend to spend the next 12+ months training for and running in endurance races.  Since pregnancies, diabetes and running don't work together in the slightest, she seemed a bit relieved to know we wouldn't be putting my body through more of that any time soon, but it did cause her to use a term that I dread from endocrinologists: CGM.

Pump with infusion site on right; CGM on left.

CGM, Continuous Glucose Monitoring, is a technology that works with insulin therapy to keep a diabetics blood sugar as tight as possible.  As an additional attachment to the body, the CGM tests blood sugar every four minutes and logs the results so as to indicate the trending direction of your blood sugar and therefore making it easier to catch it as it goes up or as it goes down.  It'd be incredibly helpful for me on my training runs, it'd ensure my safety overnight by alerting me to lows before they happen, it'd help me keep my A1C lower by giving me constant readings and I'd generally be armed with much more information than I currently get with just my Free Style Lite test strips.  Essentially it is an extraordinarily handy tool and wonderful technology to have... I just don't want it.

Here's my logic:

Because I wear an insulin pump and have an infusion site adhered to my body 24/7/365, I constantly carry a 2" by 3" by 1" visual reminder in my pocket that I'm diseased.  Granted it is an extremely helpful piece of plastic to have and I'd be worse off with out it (multiple injections are so not my thing), but I resent the fact that I LOOK diabetic because I wear this tubed device everywhere I go.  Now, if I were to add a CGM, not only would I be attached to the insulin port that is necessary for my pump to operate, I'd have this transmitting device inserted into my subcutaneous jiggle that would make it all the more difficult to hide my disease under my clothes.

I understand that it is incredibly superficial of me to be concerned about "looking diabetic" and how this beneficial technology would impact the fit of my sweaters, especially since most people don't know what they're looking at anyway, but hasn't diabetes already consumed enough of my life?  I mean I can't even have a cup of coffee in the morning without needing to compose my little grey cells enough to test my blood sugar and calculate my bolus, why should I give another portion of my abdomen over to yet another accessory for my broken pancreas?

Don't get me wrong, that was an entirely rhetorical question and I understand the benefits of it.  I mean, okay, there is something to be said for having an HgA1C estimate whenever I want and, hypothetically, it'd protect me from severe hypoglycemia by averting it's onset in the first place, but I'm incredibly sensitive to lows as is and assuming my daily readings stay within a certain range I know my A1C is where I want it to be without knowing exactly where it is.  Perhaps I am being stupidly stubborn on this, but STILL.  I'm just not ready for that.  I feel diabetic enough as it is.

Maybe sometime down the line I'll come around and will willingly participate in the next level of self-care, but for the time being my answer is HELL NO.    Sorry to disappoint you, Dr Rogacz, I'd love to be your shining star patient with all the bells and whistles, but I'll take my low-tech stellar A1C and go on my way.  See you in June.

New shoes!

Well, I knew the day was coming and, sadly, it is finally here: my Asicis Landreth are officially retiring.

I've had this pair for longer than I ever expected I would thanks to my nine month, GV-requested exercise hiatus, but with broken laces, worn tread and innumerable miles they're starting to cause a new twinge here, straight up pain there and simply need to be replaced.

While I am sure there are those out there that could not possibly care any less about my foot wear issues, I am positive that the runners among you can appreciate the physical necessity of a good pair of shoes and can identify with the brand loyalty that develops one you find the perfect Cinderella-fit.  For me, Asicis Landreth have been my glass slippers.  They've been my s(tr)ide-kick, running-buddies for some of my best races and one-on-one ego challenges with HB: the time I wound up beating him after he coaxed/dragged me (and the stroller) through a 5k; the race where I fell on the backstretch, was passed by a competitor and came back to beat her and win our age group; and, of course, my first half marathon.  Bottom line is that I thoroughly loved this design and I'd wear them forever... if I could.

The unfortunate, big time bummer is that Asicis stopped making this shoe.  For whatever reason they got it in their pea-brains that it wasn't selling well enough and that people who don't need extreme arch support don't need these kick-butt neutral shoes... I'm not bitter, really.   Anyway, I was completely heart broken to realize I'd have to start over in my search for running kicks, BUT trying to optimistically take a look at the bright side (odd, I know) I figured this was a great opportunity to try something new: minimalist shoes.

For those who are unfamiliar with running shoes, most, typical shoes have an 8-12 mm rise in the heel that provides cushion when your foot hits the pavement.  By switching to a minimalist shoe - or variation there of - you loose that height difference and force your body to create it's own cushion and stability by reducing heel strikes and forcing greater turn over through shorter, toe-dominant strides.  Essentially, these shoes change your gate and train your body to run with increased efficiency.

So there we are, no shit, at the running store and I'm picking out a pair of my own.  I looked at a bunch of different brands, heel heights and scoffed my way through the ridiculously colored women's shoes that are currently available on the market (seriously, what's with the neon?!).   Since all of the shoes were ugly and that held absolutely no weight in my decision, the test runs back and forth in the parking lot helped me make my final choice -  my foot strike is quieter in the 0 mm rise Mizuno Wave than any of the other 1-4 mm rise shoes available.  Since that indicates better form, volia! I found my new shoes. As you can see in the picture they have ZERO tread on the heel and should be 100% different from my Landreth, may they rest in peace.

Of course the warning that comes along with swapping from traditional running sneakers to minimalist shoes is that you should NEVER use them all of the time and you still need a normal pair as you transition.  So despite my reluctance to shy away from Asicis, I wound up getting a pair of New Balance 1080V2 to try out.  Admittedly they are significantly more ugly than the Landreth were, but until I've put several miles under our feet I'm going to keep the jury out on their success as a replacement training shoe.  I'll probably wear these for all of my longer runs and save the Miznuo for three mile or less "off days."

For better or for worse, I'll keep you posted.

Lent Recipe #3: Tuna Casserole

With a refrigerator stocked full with massive amounts of meat-filled left overs - veal bolognese, pesto-steak sandwich fixings and sausage stuffing - my motivation to cook yet another dinner was minimal.  However, seeing that it is Friday and it is still Lent, I needed to come up with something that was more than cereal to feed the gang... finding the vegetable drawer nearly empty and the pantry fresh out of just about all of my go-to ingredients, I decided that we'd pull out one of HB's hot dish recipes from Minnesota - the good, ol' tuna casserole.

We've tweaked the recipe some to fit our tastes and give it more substance, but it maintains the intended flavors of the original in the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook so I'll give it all the credit.

4 ounces noodles (I use fusilli or something like it)
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup chopped carrots
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp dry ground mustard
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
2 cups milk
5 cans tuna in water, drained
1 cup shredded cheese

Cook noodles according to package directions. Drain and set aside.

For sauce, in a medium saucepan cook celery, carrots and onion in the butter until tender.  Stir in flour, salt, dry mustard and black pepper.  Add the milk all at once; cook and stir until slightly thickened and bubbly. Combine sauce, tuna and cheese with the noodles.  Transfer to a casserole and bake, uncovered at 375 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes.

Work out buddies...

I was reading a blurb recently from Real Simple Magazine about how thin people stay thin and I was particularly struck by one point the article made: thin people have thin parents.  Citing that only 30% of this is genetic, the rest is environmental factors I am hopeful that HB and I are on the right track to keep our kids within healthy BMI ranges.

By modeling healthy choices and an active lifestyle, GW and GV are growing up with exercise as a regular, normal thing rather than something they'll have to learn about after possibly accumulating excess weight.   HB and I constantly take them out with us when we go for runs and they both seem to take their role in the process quite seriously - GW always yells "go go GO!" and GV wails whenever we slow down or stop, so it's definitely a family event.  Ultimately, when they're big enough, I fully plan to take them out jogging with us but for the time being their motivation is enough participation to keep us all satisfied.

Course, now that we are four days into Insanity both little ones are figuring out just how to be involved in our new exercise routine.  GW has decided that he's big enough to get his interval training groove started and, GV, well, as long as she's within arms distance (if not actually in arms) she's happy.  Perhaps it is not exactly the best way for us to do the work out and perhaps they're both trying to run before they can crawl (figuratively for one, literally for the other), but hey, they're at least starting down the road of a good habit and it's time together.    

Insanity!

Alright, people, the time has come... Sean T has officially re-entered the building!

For the first time since Fall 2011, HB and I restarted the Insanity work out routine today and, seriously, there is a reason the program is named what it is!  For those who aren't familiar with it, this 60 day program combines plyometrics, body-weight lifting and cardio interval training in a way that would make even the most fit, manly, stoic marine cry.  Constantly encouraging quicker speed and therefore more reps, Sean T makes a 30 minute work out feel like a three hour lifting session... it's insane!

The first day of the program is a fit test that is comprised of eight exercises lasting one minute each.  So along with before pictures (over my post-pregnancy body will those be posted until I have after shots to post as well!), this is a way to track your physical improvement as you progress week by week through the program.  While I am not exactly happy with my initial results here they are --

Switch Kicks: 84

Power Jacks: 49

Power Knees: 99

Power Jumps: 35

Globe Jumps:  8

Suicide Jumps:  15

Push-ups Jacks:  33

Low Plank Obliques:  53

The last time we did Insanity, we made it about four weeks into the program before we were worn out and in need of a much needed break (which we took as running a half marathon).  I'm really hoping that we can physically last longer this go around and get the same - if not better - trimming and toning results as before. Starting with a BMI of 20.3 and body fat reading of 18.3%, I have 6 lbs to go to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and 14 lbs left before I am back to my ideal weight.  We'll see how long this takes.

That said, I am disconnecting my pump, putting on three bras (so not kidding), rolling up the living room rug, and cursing Sean T for the ridiculous awesomeness that is INSANITY!

Lent Recipe #2: Mushroom Tart

So it seems like there is this misconception in pop culture that whatever you forgo or alter for Lent must make you miserable in order to be a true expression of piety -- almost as if we socially expect Catholics to desperately stand in the pouring rain outside of the local bakery and lustfully gape at the shelves of tantalizing, seductive cupcakes until Easter when the poor, starving soul can finally be rewarded with dessert.  And while I readily acknowledge that it is difficult to give up a worldly comfort for the sake of spirituality (and no, I will never give up sugar), I fully reject the connection of misery with the practice of abstinence. 

You see, at just about two weeks into Lent, I am feeling like my family isn't necessarily missing anything in our lives by eschewing restaurants.  Don't get me wrong, I've thoroughly screwed up dinner a couple times and the other nights certainly aren't five star quality, but I am finding the experience to be a worthwhile exercise of "plan B" -- which, admittedly, is something I am not very good at.  It seems to me that the value of Lent is in recognizing something tangible or excess that we place far too much value in and essentially resetting our lives in a bigger context.  By using the opportunity as a learning experience to better ourselves, we are attempting to find "... glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5: 3-4). 

By giving up restaurants and any form of prepared food, HB and I are without the convenience of just grabbing a bite wherever, but we're starting to recognizing the superfluous nature of going out.  We can make what we like at home and, frankly, the cost of only eating what can be purchased at the grocery store seems to be more time together... and I like those prices. 

So... the recipe for this week is for an awesome mushroom tart.  I originally got the recipe from Bon Appètit magazine, but I've been tweaking it over the years and I think I've finally found the combination of ingredients that I think is easiest, healthier and tastes better than the original (whatever you do, don't skip the Cognac or change the chesse!).  I typically make my own pastry crust, but for convenience sake I've listed a store bought crust to save you precious weeknight time:  

Single pie crust 
1 roughly chopped maitake mushroom (AKA "Hen of the Woods")
1/4 cup minced shallots
2 Tablespoons Cognac
2 Tablesppons chopped fresh rosemary and thyme
2/3 cup grated Gruyère cheese
3/4 cup milk
2 egg whites
1 whole egg 

Melt butter in heavy large skillet over high heat. Add chopped maitake mushrooms. Season with salt; sauté until deep golden, about ten minutes. Add shallots and sauté for two minutes. Add Cognac and boil until absorbed, about three minutes. Mix in 1 tablespoon of the herbs. Cool.

Preheat oven to 375° F. Line crust with foil. Fill with dried beans; bake until golden, about 15 minutes. Maintain oven temperature.

Sprinkle 1/3 cup cheese in crust. Cover with mushrooms. Whisk cream, yolks, egg and remaining herbs in bowl. Pour custard over mushrooms. Top with remaining cheese. Bake until filling is set and top is golden, about 30 minutes. Cool on rack 15 minutes and serve. 

12 Weeks

I cannot believe that GV is twelve weeks old already, time is just flying by.  She's growing beautifully (up to 14 lbs 6 oz) and is a gorgeous roly poly, chubby baby who is full of big smiles, adorable "ah-goos" and, in her opinion, all too many hiccups.  Although she has her moments, I feel thoroughly blessed that she is such a sweet, happy baby!

The last couple weeks have been rough on her though -- all of us actually -- because each of us have had the winter scuzz.  Despite our best efforts, we've played hot potato with these germs and, considering her tiny immune system, it seems like GV is bearing the brunt of it with a significantly congested nose.  She hasn't been running a fever or anything super serious, but when your three month old baby sounds like a snuffleupagous and develops a previously undiscovered knack for screaming you're justified in excess concern.

So with this in mind and hearing GW's wet cough, I took both the kids up to the pediatrician this past Friday to make sure that they weren't developing something more serious than whatever this blah started out as.  Reassuring me that it hadn't gone to their lungs and that their ears still looked fine, the doctor suggested I give GW honey for his cough and that I try a Nosefrida on GV.  Well, as you can imagine, the spoon full of sugar went down smoothly with GW but I struggled with the "snotsucker."  This thing is designed so that you place the end of a tube against your infant's nose and use a mouth piece to suck out whatever is blocking their nasal passageways.  Well, I must not have much in the way of lung capacity or something because I found that sucker to be extremely difficult to use.  I think it'd probably work well for a simple runny nose, but for the full on congestion GV has going I am having to rely on the good ol' bulb syringe.

Course I am sure most parents out there are familiar with the screaming, unhappy baby that goes along with the use of an aspirator -- but for those who don't have first hand knowledge, just imagine snot being forcibly sucked from your nose and the disgusting tugging feeling that must accompany it (there's a reason we don't remember these things from our own childhoods).  Well, oddly enough, my beautiful little weirdo here likes it.  She gets all sorts of excited when she see me pull out the aspirator and, although I know she's not developmentally there yet, it's almost like she already rationalizes that it's good for her and that the discomfort is a temporary solution to her problems.  Granted she gets annoyed after a while and gives a good "waaaaaaaah" to let you know she's done, but the picture says it all folks.

Weird, right?  I'll take it, but that is absolutely bizarre.

You know, in a lot of ways, GV reminds me of her brother when he was a little guy.  He wasn't a fan of having his nose cleaned like she is, but otherwise they have a very similar temperament -- and given that he is turning out to be a very kind, thoughtful child I am over the moon about this!  He's adjusted to his big brother role so well, I am very proud and grateful that he is who he is.  (Yes you, GW.)

Of course, I must say, he's shocking the heck out of me right now with his growth spurts.  Since the beginning of January, this kid has grown half an inch (42" tall now) and he's officially out grown toddler size shoes.  Now wearing a boy's size one there is only a four centimeter difference between the size of his feet and mine.  He is three. I am two weeks shy of 27 years old.  How ridiculous is that?!

Whenever we look at height predictors that estimate how tall your child will be when full grown as an adult, the math comes back that GW will be somewhere around 6' 6" give or take two inches for a margin of error! Can you imagine trying to feed a teenage boy who will likely be between 6' 4" and 6' 8"?!  I can't... perhaps I should just purchase a supermarket.

They are great kids.  I wish there was something more I could do to make them feel better right now, but I'll admit I appreciate the scuzz induced extra snuggles.  Some day they'll be too big and they wont want their Mommy to dote on them or stick an aspirator up their nose when they're sick... but even with as big as they're getting, that day isn't today and, for that, thanks be to God.

Postprandial Hyperglycemia Continues...

Much to my disappointment, I guess my endocrinologist had a point when she said high glycemic index food is out.   I'd initially hoped such a food restriction would be a fluke suggestion for my recent hyperglycemia, but it is unfortunately turning out to be something I actually need to consider.  Bummer.

As per our usual weekend morning tradition, yesterday before mass HB got up and made the family his famous pancake breakfast with a side of bacon and - hallelujah - coffee.  It's not often that I willingly hand over the reigns to my kitchen, but if he offers I always take him up on making this breakfast because it's just so darn good!  I think the special trick to his recipe is the 50-50 split of white flour to wheat flour and his inclusion of melted butter and cinnamon right in the batter... they are so amazing.

Anyway, after HB finished slaving away at his new griddle, he put the plate of gorgeous golden brown pancakes and our three maple syrup variants on the table and lead us in grace.  I set GW up with two pancakes and once they were cut into toddler sized pieces, I turned back to my own plate for calculation.  Taking three pancakes (20 g each), about 1/4 cup of sugar free maple syrup (10 g) and my coffee (20 g) into account, I bolused 5 units of insulin to cover the 100 grams of carbs in front of me (20 g carb per 1 unit insulin).   Back when I was first diagnosed, I remembered thinking that 100 grams sounded like an embarrassing amount of carbohydrates to eat in one sitting, but now that I have a better idea of the composition of food it really isn't difficult to rack up carbs quickly with a couple pancakes or a simple glass of juice.  So eating just barely more than my 3 year old, I finished breakfast and off we went to Sunday Mass.

Returning home an hour later, I checked my blood sugar at the two hour post breakfast mark: 202 mg/dL.  Requiring only 0.90 units for a correction, HB and I were thoroughly agitated to see I still had 3.4 active units in my system.  Sighing deeply, I waited another two hours before checking again and my glucose at that point was down to 71 mg/dL -- which as I have said before, is slightly on the low side but within the correct range of where I want it.

I'd peaked early, again.  I'd calculated my carbs correctly, I'd eaten what I intended to eat and my glucose was eventually were it ought to have been, but not without a cost.  Going up into the 200s isn't healthy and regardless of the temporary nature of it, I cannot afford to go high if I want my HgA1C to stay under tight control in a "normal" person range.  I need it to be normal -- and not just for me and my sanity, but for any unplanned children we may possibly have. I mean I trust God to be looking out for us and our current & future children, but that doesn't mean I should take his care for granted and disregard my responsibility and role in the process.

It's frustrating that after two years of a steep learning curve with diabetes management that things are changing all over again.  My body is responding entirely different to carbohydrates now at three months postpartum than it ever did before or during the pregnancy and, despite my irritation with the idea of the glycemic index, I capitulate that it is completely necessary.  And while my e-whining about cream of wheat and pancakes may indicate otherwise, I think the fact of the matter is that I am more emotionally attached to the luxury of choice than I am to the specific carbs I'm losing... my world is shrinking even further because of diabetes and the reality of my new condition and its limitations causes me great sadness.

Completely unintended.  You'd think it is smiling because it knows...
sick sense of humor pancake, just sick. 

Lent Recipe #1: Israeli Skillet

So it is the first Friday of Lent today and, as a practicing, soon-to-be baptized Catholic, that means fasting and abstinence (no meat).  Since HB and I have decided to abstain from eating at restaurants for the next 40 days - which, if I may say, is not only a oblation of convenience but a sincere sacrifice of worldly foodie indulgence - I've resorted to the HB-tested, GW-approved bag of home cooking tricks I've built up over the last couple years.  Most of my recipes are for things like slow cooked lamb shanks, pesto-steak sandwiches or veal bolognese, which clearly are not vegetarian or fish options, but I've got a few Lent appropriate meals up my sleeve that will satisfy even these picky eaters. 

The thing is, although fasting cuts out the main source of protein in meals by restricting meat, as a diabetic I don't exactly relish the idea of serving up a big plate of plain old carbs.  Plus, if you tie in my desperate attempts to loose the extra baby weight and my interest in actually have something tasty on the table, creativity and nutritional research become key... because, let's face it, cereal has never exactly been my forte.

So in an attempt to share the work I've done to combine these food-factors, I'm going to post the recipes for our Friday night dinners throughout Lent in case something strikes your fancy.  Tonight's was an "Israeli Skillet" recipe from Bon Appetit magazine that I've tweeked a bit.  It's got chickpeas, tomatoes, feta and eggs -- and, if I've never raved the value of the garbanzo bean before, let me do it now! Not only does this recipe have phenomenal flavor and come together in a jiff, but the chickpea has a stellar carb:protein ratio that beefs up (ha) its substantive quality in this dish - I mean one 4 ounce serving size has 15 grams of carbs and 5 grams of protein! And to top it all off, HB - the meat and potatoes, corn fed, muscle man from MN - says he loves it...  

Alright, enough preamble, here ya go:

Ingredients: 

1/4 cup olive oil

1 medium onion, finely chopped

2 garlic cloves, coarsely chopped

1 can chopped green chilies

1 15-ounce can chickpeas, drained

2 tsp Hungarian sweet paprika

1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp lemon peel; 1 Tbsp lemon juice

Dash ground cinnamon

1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 cup coarsely crumbled Israeli feta

8 large eggs

1 tablespoon chopped flat-leaf parsley

Warm pita bread with honey (watch the carbs in pita, it's higher than you'd think at roughly 36 g per slice)

Directions: 

Place souffle dishes on a cookie sheet and preheat them in oven to 425°F.

Heat oil in a large ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, garlic, and jalapeños; cook, stirring occasionally, until onion is soft, about 8 minutes. Add chickpeas, paprika, and cumin and cook for 2 minutes longer.

Add crushed tomatoes and their juices. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer, stirring occasionally, until sauce thickens slightly, about 15 minutes. Season to taste with pepper.

Pull souffle dishes from oven and evenly separate the tomato sauce between the dishes. Sprinkle feta evenly over sauce. Crack eggs one at a time and place over sauce, spacing evenly apart (two per souffle dish).

Transfer dishes back to oven and bake until whites are just set but yolks are still runny, 8 - 10 minutes. Garnish with parsley.

Serve with pita for dipping, honey on the side.

"Doubt the stars are fire;

Doubt that the sun doth move;

Doubt truth to be a liar;

But never doubt I love."
~ Shakespeare's Hamlet

You're my everything, HB. 

I love you. 

Happy Valentines Day!

Breast Milk, part two

So you know my last post on breast feeding? Thought I was done? Well, guess what? There's more!

Now that I've explained the complexity of breast feeding as a diabetic and how the balancing act is more a matter of self-care than baby-care, it's about time that I move onto the real impetus for getting around to writing these posts: Downton Abbey.  For those of you who watch the show, I've tried to give you all a few weeks to catch up on the fourth episode so as to not inadvertently spoil the plot for you, but seeing as this topic has been eating me up inside I just cannot wait any longer to vent about it.  Several Sundays ago, Lady Sybil died from eclampsia after giving birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl.  I wept my freaking eyes out.  I simply couldn't believe that Julian Fellowes (the writer) would do something so horrible to the most wonderful character on the show... I mean for God's sake man, kill Bates if you have to, but not Sybil!

Many of you might find this to be completely random and not at all relevant to a diabetes related post about breast milk, but bear with me -- you see, when Mr. Carson, Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore began talking about the baby's need for a wet nurse I got to thinking.  While breast feeding is an extremely personal choice for mother's now a days and there are definitely social stigmas that go along with not just nursing, but sharing breast milk, the reality still exists that there are babies out there that need to be fed by other means than their own mothers.  Clearly formula is the go-to option now a days for such situations, but I'd heard tell about the practice of breast milk donation and wanted to check it out.

So off to Mr. Google I go to look into what organizations are out there and what it takes to become a breast milk donor (face it, with the image of Sybil Branson's baby fresh in mind who wouldn't want to help out?).  The search engine pops up with several different groups that collect donations for families in need and I delve into the mission statements, success stories and finally into the requirements pages... logically, the organizations insist that a donor have her own baby's feeding covered before considering donating extra milk; they also mandate that a donor's freezer be capable of reaching - 4 degrees Fahrenheit; and, oh yeah, donors under no circumstances can be diabetic.

Putting diabetes under the same category of disqualifying diseases as HIV (SERIOUSLY?!), using artificial insulin on a regular basis classifies me an "unhealthy" mother...  ouch.  Now I am not so irrational as to deny these organizations consideration of liability reduction in making this decision, but likening my milk quality to that of a disease that is actually transmittable from person to person and actually communicable through breast milk is just insulting.   Women with HIV cannot safely breast feed without taking antiretroviral medication to prevent transference of the disease to their babies, but women with diabetes - as I said earlier - are not only capable of breast feeding safely, but they are encouraged to do it!

Having the past several weeks to stew on this topic, I'm not angry with these groups because I cannot donate something I willing would under different circumstances, but I am furious with diabetes that it has taken something important away from me.  It never crossed my mind to donate milk while breast feeding GW, but now that I'm actively feeding GV and am in a physical position to do so now, it really stings to know what opportunity I missed and what difference I'll never be allowed to make for another mother.  Don't get me wrong, I know mothers today who can't or don't breast feed have alternative options with formula, but it's the principle of the thing...

While I understand that I have a disease I work tirelessly to manage it and make it as irrelevant as possible.  But, being of spiteful character, diabetes seems to take pleasure in continuously adding insult to injury -- making me wear a battery operated computer 24/7 was just selfish; forcing me to cut out cream of wheat was just rude; making candy a thing of necessity rather than pleasure was sick and twisted; and, worst of all, having my milk practically labeled as carcinogenic is just unforgivable.

Screw you, diabetes. And the horse you rode in on.

Breast Feeding and Diabetes

For months now I've been saying that I'd write a blog post about breast feeding as a diabetic.  I'd skipped the topic while still pregnant since it wasn't quite relevant at the time and for the past 11 weeks since GV was born I just haven't made a priority of writing about it since doing it seemed more important.  But seeing as she's happily asleep in her swing chair and GW is at least pretending to nap in his room, I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you about it since I know you all must have been anxiously loosing sleep over it since I first mentioned I'd write about the topic back in 2012.

No? Just me? Ah well, c'est la vie.

According to the American Diabetes Association, the best thing that a diabetic mother can do for her new born child is to breast feed.  Citing multiple research studies, the ADA explains that babies that are exposed to diabetes in utero and are breast fed for upwards of six months after delivery have a decreased incidence of respiratory infections, a lower risk of asthma and atopy, tend to have lower blood pressure and are less likely to develop childhood obesity.   All great things, right?  Well, combining these medical benefits with the fact that the disease is not transmittable, that there have been research studies connecting certain types of baby formula containing bovine protein to the development of autoimmune diseases like diabetes and that I thoroughly enjoyed breast feeding GW, the choice was easy for me.  The practice of breast feeding with diabetes, however, is not so easy.

Blood sugar affects everything we do in our daily lives because it provides us with energy, so it seems only logical that there be some relationship between blood glucose and the natural formation of breast milk.  While you've probably heard that breast feeding burns calories, you may not have taken the next mental step to connect that with blood sugar... Essentially, in a similar way to how our bodies burn both calories and glucose when we exercise, a mother's body burns both fuels to create milk for her infant. So while a non-diabetic mother can singularly reap the weight loss benefits of nursing her little one due to her self-regulation of glucagon and insulin, a diabetic mother needs to monitor her blood sugar with extreme caution so as to not put herself (and by extension her baby) in danger of hypoglycemia.

To prevent this and to keep blood sugar stable, it's important that I eat before, during and sometimes after feeding GV.  But that brings me to the next topic of difficulty: weight gain and nursing.  Because of my sugars I need to eat more to keep my blood sugar up to be able to safely nurse -- but then that means that although I am burning calories while nursing I am required to ingest more calories to nurse which means any weight loss I should have with breast feeding is replaced with weight maintenance, if not additional weight gain.  Obviously this creates a source of stress for someone as physically self-conscious as me, but to take it to a less superficial level, weight gain can change a diabetic's chemistry enough to change the body's response to glucose and therefore its artificial insulin requirements.  So... to keep this complicated... that means that I need to eat more to nurse more and that I must exercise more to compensate for not only remaining pregnancy weight (15 lbs to go) but the extra calories necessary to nurse (and exercise) all in order to keep my sugars stable enough to nurse in the first place.

Furthermore (because why, really, would it end there?) not only should my blood sugar be kept from going low while breast feeding, but they should not be permitted to go high either.  While the majority of perinatologists, pediatricians, obstetricians and diabetes organizations insist that there is no connection between a mother's in-the-moment blood sugar and the quality of her breast milk, there is a school of thought out of the Sansum Diabetes Research Institute in Santa Barbara, CA that believes the value of a mother's breast milk decreases when her bg is over 150 mg/dL.  According to these researchers, such deficient breast milk can cause infants to have "reactive hyperglycemia" which causes them to vomit, be excessively irritable and require more milk to satisfy their nutritional needs.  While there aren't additional studies to backup these claims and I've never seen such negative effects in GV's behavior when I have nursed her while high, a lack of evidence doesn't necessarily refute the possibility and I've decided to play it safe rather than sorry.  Admittedly it voluntarily adds another level of complication to breast feeding, but what does it really cost me?  If it is no big deal, then oh well.  If it actually matters, then it's worth the effort.

The bottom line is, I am thrilled to be nursing; it's a very personal choice and I find it completely satisfying. But breast feeding and diabetes take a lot of conscientious thought -- and at 3 o'clock in the morning when GV wants to nurse that is a lot to ask for.  Don't get me wrong, glucose control is definitely less critical and requires far less attention to minutia now than in pregnancy, but it's still exhausting to continuously consider.  I could let it go and give myself an easy DKA-sponsored trip back to my skinny jeans, but I cannot justify cutting myself any self-satisfying slack on my sugar control since a lax take on it would imply irresponsible parenting at best.

Seeing as I take my vocation as wife and mother extremely seriously, I guess this is just another one of those necessary "diabetes says this is how it is going to be" horse pills to swallow and get over it... now if only they made that in a gummy I'd be happier.

Why take a horse pill when you can have a gummy?