Team RWB

Over the last handful of years I feel like my identity has morphed into something I never expected.  When I was younger, I had this black and white plan of what my life would look like along the way -- I'd achieve a certain level of education, I'd become an integral cog in one of the government's hush hush agencies, I'd quickly move up the ranks in obscure positions I'd happily leave to other's imaginations and I'd generally be seen as a successful, glamorous person -- but the unexpected began to happen and suddenly my future became what my compulsive organizational behavior had fought so long to prevent: grey.  

I don't say that in any negative sense, but rather as more of a acknowledgement of my former rigidity and as an acceptance of the control I simply do not have.  Since 2009 I've weighed my options and made assertive choices to step away from "The Plan" in an attempt to "let go and let God" do what is right for me and, more to the point, my family.  I acknowledge there is a certain degree of passivity in this lifestyle outlook, but I'm tired of trying to force the square peg (plan) through the round hole (life) when there is a more simple way...  I am not what I expected, but I am passionate about what I've become:  

I am the wife of a veteran.  I am a mother of two.  I am an endurance runner.  I am a type 1 diabetic.   

As random as this topic may seem, I bring it up because today was a big day for me where I felt like all of my "new" pieces melded together in one cohesive positive direction.  Typically my being feels ripped in twenty directions -- the mother in me needs to be cuddling or cleaning something, while the wife in me ought to be packing a lunch in the kitchen or showering more often, the runner in me should be at about mile seven already and the diabetic is reminding me that, oh yeah, you still haven't finished your coffee.  But today, today I was cohesively all of those things at the exact same time and for a bigger purpose than myself...  let the ramble about Team RWB begin. 

A few weeks back, right after the Boston Marathon bombings, HB and I were introduced to a veteran's support organization that works to build communities and combat PTSD through physical activity and positive social interactions.  Side stepping the dingy VFW bar scene, Team RWB validates the modern American veteran and their families by connecting veterans to one another, creating a common purpose and a positive post-active duty group identity.  It acknowledges the hardships OIF/OEF veterans have endured and by placing one foot after the other actively defies the social stigma that disabled vets cannot do for themselves...  Team RWB bridges the gap between all of the well intentioned civilian non-profits that act on behalf of veterans, the Department of Veteran Affairs and the veterans themselves by bringing simple person-to-person "let's go do something" humanity back.  

Given that HB and I are out running all the time anyway - we're gearing up to start our marathon training after all - it took next to no effort to get a weekly Team RWB 3 mile run set up in our area.  For the past several weeks it's just been the two of us with our incredibly patient duo in the Bob stroller, but, as I already said, today was different - someone came!

With one new member, the group is still dominated by my family, but I feel elated that it took one step in the right direction today.  I'm so hopeful that with time and persistence I'll be able to grow the local team and that one day we'll have ourselves a vibrant, constructive, healthy community for vets in the Rappahannock area...  I mean the reality is, folks, that PTSD is no joke and with 22 new vets committing suicide a day there is something that we as a country - as a community - are doing wrong.  Many of our current vets joined the military when war wasn't just a possibility, but a given and to transition back to civilian life after all they've been through is a truly daunting mission.  

Not only does Team RWB give them an off base, non-VA Clinic place to find support and camaraderie they loose when no longer "in," but it gives people like me a chance recognize what they've done and lost by doing what I'm already doing: living the life their bravery and sacrifices have enabled me to live.

So, today, I was every bit of me and then some.  I jacked my sugars up a bit, took my insulin pump off, laced up my minimalist shoes and went running with my husband and kids; and all to support our vets.  Next week I'll do the same and the week after that and the week after that too.

That's who I am.  Who are you?

Food introduction

Although it may not seem like there is very little method to my madness, I believe we've hit a tipping point where counting GV's age in terms of weeks is no longer rational.  Up until this point she has been, for example, "twelve weeks old" rather than "three months old" because, at least in my mind, a week is so much shorter than a month and the sound of just a handful of weeks drags her infancy out perhaps a moment longer in thought than it is in reality.  But now that we need more than ten fingers and ten toes to count the number of weeks she is old, the tides turn and twenty-two weeks sounds audibly cumbersome compared with a "mere five month" reference.

So, at five months old, our beautiful little Dolly is doing wonderfully and it's been a week full of notable milestones: she rolled over from front to back and then from back to front for the first time and, after glowering at GW for eating waffles in front of her, she's had her first introduction to solid foods.  I'd initially planned to only breast feed her until six months given the positive research such a diet has shown for infants of type one diabetics, but seeing as that date is technically two weeks away (24 weeks old on Tuesday May 14) I decided that she is ready given her ernest protestations when she too isn't presented with a full plate of food at the dinner table.  (Honestly, I think that if she truly had her own say in things, she'd be running and eating steaks already...)

But once again, in spite of the fact that she's child number two, I feel completely foiled in my parenting knowledge and experience by the role diabetes is playing in our family (not just my) life.  When GW began eating solid food, I remember the momentous weight of the occasion being thoroughly placed on his act of eating rather than on my choice of cereal products.  With GV, however, I'm spending hours of time surfing online medical journals and diabetes resource pages trying to make sure that the external environmental factors I actually have control over don't unintentionally exacerbate the biological possibility of islet autoimmunity.  So while I am completely thrilled that she has (proudly) eaten three full bowls of rice cereal, I feel the weight of my off the shelf selection as a consumer each time I lift that tiny spoon to her gleeful mouth.

GV's first solid food

Now, to reiterate my disclaimer, I am not a medical professional --  I am only a mother 
making as informed of choices as I can in the hopes of doing what is best for my children.  

I have absolutely zero knowledge as to whether what I am doing is right or if - Heaven forbid - 
it is wrong,  so if you're like me and searching for a "recipe for success" you need to use
your own best judgement and ask your pediatrician or endocrinologist for their medical advice.  

That said, back when I was researching what impact my diabetes would have on breast feeding I learned that there is a possible correlation between the introduction of cow milk proteins and the later life development of type 1 diabetes.  Seeing as this whole line of thought started with my research on formula and since it is typically the first non-mother's milk food to be introduced to infants, I'll start there:

The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition published a 2010 research study that indicates the large size of bovine protein may be too difficult for infants at "high risk" for diabetes (children of type 1 diabetics, with type 1 siblings or those that have tested positive for autoimmune antibodies) to digest and may lead to the onset of islet autoimmunity.   In an effort to reduce the possible impact of this environmental factor, the study suggests that such infants be fed breast milk as long and as much as practical but if formula is warranted to only use highly hydrolyzed, hypoallergenic forms like Alimentum, Nutramigen and Pregestimil due to the smaller, non-cow milk proteins used.

I admit the repetitive use of "may" and "possible" doesn't provide much comfort to the concerned parent in me, especially in light of the price tag assigned to hypoallergenic formula, but seeing as this is the only study I've come across with anything remotely close to a definitive "cause" for diabetes (even these researchers state more studies are necessary) I'm willing to work with their results.  I mean, even non-diabetic parents are cautioned against the introduction of cows milk in the first year of life anyway.  Straight cows milk is significantly more difficult for infants less than 12 months old to digest and, even if the correlation to diabetes is uncorroborated, there is conclusive evidence that indicates early introduction of cows milk leads to iron deficiency anemia, an increased risk of a milk allergy and potentially life threatening dehydration.  In my mind, those risks alone are worth consideration and avoidance of bovine proteins!

Having learned this about the liquid end of things, I obviously looked into solid food introduction as well and, unlike formula, I learned the most important factor about cereal introduction is not necessarily what but when it is started.  So working with the general medical community's consensus that all parents should start all infants on iron fortified rice cereal (again, to avoid iron deficiency) -- I chose an organic brown rice cereal based on the nutrition label you see here -- I used my pediatrician's guidance to start solid foods around 5-6 months, the age infants are physically ready for more than breast milk.  Before this time frame, infants don't have the proper gut bacteria necessary to break down solid food safely and there is no nutritional need for more than breast milk or formula then anyway.  Not to mention, starting cereals any earlier than 5 months is linked to an increased risk of not only developing diabetes but obesity, eczema and celiac disease!!  But, all cautionary fear-mongering aside, assuming a baby is at the very least 20 weeks old and showing physical signs of interest in solid foods - putting hands in mouth, practicing a chewing motion, watching and mimicking eating motions - go ahead and get your camera ready!

I know what you're thinking: all of these baby-feeding guidelines seem completely overkill.  And, you know what, I am with you.  I feel like I have opened the medical journal version of Pandora's Box and am falling insulin pump first into a rabbit hole of hypochondria... but I made the active choice to learn everything I can about my disease, for better or worse, so that I can run it instead of the other way around.  I can't passively wait and see what my pancreas has in store for my kids with clear conscious, so overkill or not, at least this degree of research helps me sleep at night.

You have ...

While walking around the INOVA Fair Oaks Hospital last week doing this test and that scan an unwelcome knot began to coil in my stomach on top of the other obnoxious symptoms I've been experiencing.  But unlike the unidentifiable pain in my back, twinge in my abdomen, all encompassing fatigue and plummeting blood sugars, I know without a doubt the cause of this gnarling, rancid, snaking sensation: sheer dread.

The idea of more white coats, of being hospitalized and generally of being sick again makes me thoroughly miserable.   I'm 27 years old for goodness sake!  I'm supposed to be spry, youthful and energetic - you know, able to leap tall buildings in single bounds and all that jazz.  But, as sorry as I am to admit it, ever since I got sick in 2011 there has been a persistent shade of gloomy-blue in my life...  I'm sick and, until they discover a cure, I'm not going to get better.  Of course, it's unfair of me to say that I haven't gotten better with the use of my insulin pump and incessant glucose testing because the fact is that I no longer have DKA and my diabetes is not getting worse.  However, when my chronic condition regularly gets me bumped from "I'm sorry you are sick, but wait your turn" to practically having "STAT" stamped on my forehead the moment I walk into medical buildings for efficiency purposes it's a little disheartening.

Now, I fully appreciate that my doctors are thorough and that they never feel comfortable labeling anything as "just a virus" or whatever because of the possible worst case scenario, but dagnabbit people! With absolutely none of the tests coming back with clear results, my GP advised that I come back into the hospital on Friday to be rehydrated.  When I flat out said "no, I can drink my own dang water, thank you" she then requested that I at least follow up with the following morning at their immediate care clinic, which I thought perfectly reasonable.  But then, on Saturday morning, when the next two doctors to examine me found zero trails to follow they seemed to be pursuing the medical equivalent of an invisible yet mischievous pooka down random rabbit holes... worth it? I think not.

Now I might be stubbornly calling the hunt off too early and there's still a possibility that I may have to eat some hospital version of humble pie sometime in the next couple weeks, but without a reason for more poking and prodding I'm done being the poor, pitiful patient.  If it's something as simple as a virus, then sleeping on the couch a while longer should put me right.  If it is more than that, then, well, I'll have some more definitive symptoms to follow and we wont waste our time trying to track down something it's not.

With that, it's nap time.  GV in the crook of my arm and GW in "the boat."    

Wait and see.

I apologize for the hiatus in posts over the past two weeks. Between my shear bewilderment over the Boston Marathon bombings and a horrific stomach pain that has had me sleeping since Monday I've been quite without comment.  But after having spent the majority of yesterday and this morning at the doctor's office running tests, it's about time I get back to it.

So Monday afternoon while driving with HB to get landscape rock for our yard my stomach and lower back began searing with pain.  Leaving him to load the 4 tons of river rock in to the truck, complete the landscaping and generally do everything that involves moving, I've been on the couch and barely eating ever since.  Finally opting to go see someone about it yesterday, the doc found my bilirubin levels to be high and ordered a complete blood panel and abdominal ultrasound that was completed this morning.

Thus far we haven't learned anything from the lab results and the ultrasound found nothing conclusive, but we have learned one thing: with an underlying, chronic condition general practitioners seem to automatically assume that diabetes is the cause of all of my problems.  Now, if my HgA1C was high and I truly had "poor diabetes management" as they accuse me of, then I'd nod my head in silent resignation that I've made myself worse with apathy. However, since my A1C is stellar and I test my sugar so often I have perpetual bruising from my lancets I refuse to sit passively by and take undo criticism of my self-care.  I mean at one point this morning the sonographer went so far as to ask if my stomach pain is because of "improper use of my infusion site" - perhaps a logical question if it wasn't in a completely different abdominal quadrant from where the pain is!

The thing is, while diabetes could be a problem and is regularly a bitter annoyance of mine, right now my diabetes is a reassurance that something beyond the norm is wrong and here's why: Before I began feeling ill on Monday, my blood sugar was completely stable, but especially over the last two days my bgs have been falling lower and lower without a relevant diabetes explanation...  Yesterday afternoon my glucose levels were low (63 mg/dL) so I corrected with a handful of saltine crackers.  But when I checked my blood sugar a few hours later at dinner and it was even lower (61 mg/dL), so I adjusted my basal to 70% of it's usual amount to account for being sick and I skipped a meal bolus for the minimal food that I ate.  Assuming this would set me up for stability via hyperglycemia over night since I had to fast for the ultrasound, I checked my post-dinner two hour postprandial, my bg was still low at 68 mg/dL... I grabbed a quick correction snack, adjusted my basal rate even lower to 50% and went to bed.

You'd think with half of my normal basal rate and a correction I'd have woken up this morning with my blood sugar well into the 100's - if not higher - but nope.  For the second day in a row, my blood sugar was down even farther to 41 mg/dL!  Since I couldn't even have water before this ultrasound I couldn't correct with either solid or liquid carbs, so at 7 AM I suspended my pump and removed it with the assumption that my sugars would naturally go up without my persistent basal dose.  Makes sense, right?
Well, yes, but it didn't work. Three hours later at 10 AM my blood sugar had merely gone up to 48 mg/dL... not awesome.

I've since had breakfast and found a temporary fix to my hypoglycemia, but that's beside the point.  The silver lining of my exhaustion, pain and zero appetite is that my diabetes is providing another quantifiable symptom to go from.  Typically when diabetics get sick the body releases extra hormones that cause a decrease in insulin efficiency and therefore causes unavoidable hyperglycemia,  but for whatever reason, something else is going on right now.  How obnoxious.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see what comes to pass.

My prayers go out to those in Boston.

  

3.5 Year Update

Okay, let me get this straight... not only is my itty bitty baby no longer itty bitty, but GW's birthday was six months ago already?!  Are you fricking kidding me?! That means Halloween is only six months away... that he starts school in five months... that he's practically four years old already!

Remind me not to blink ever again... too much changes each time I do.

GW and HB next to Daddy's 1986 outline self-portrait

Having outgrown multiple physicals a year at the pediatrician, we're doing our best to keep tabs on the growth spurts this kid continues to have.  As of this morning, GW weighs in at a slender 38.5 pounds (85%) and 42.75 inches tall (~105%)!  That's up three fourths of an inch since February!  Wow.

I'm thrilled that he's growing so beautifully and that he's putting on height rather than girth given how much he eats (are you kidding me?), but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm somewhat worried about how huge he is.  He towers over kids his age and big kids regularly confuse him for a five or six year old; and while I am thrilled he is invited to play and that he's so eager to interact with other children, the reality is that the combination of his big size and that he's not developmentally where his "peers" think he is works against him.  Often more rough than he wants to be, GW doesn't quite have full coordination or control of his body and despite his good, playful intentions he, for example, is accidentally pushing kids down when he simply means to play tag.   I fully recognize that he just needs time to learn that he's bigger than most of the other kids, but for the moment I find myself harping at my truly sweet child to be "nice nice" and "gentle."

GW watching over GV and wearing his self-made
 Bunny Friend carrier (HB's heart rate monitor)

The good thing, thank God, is that GW is not sharing challenged and when little guys come around, he's often the first to offer a toy or to ask "want to play with me?" And, still very much GV's champion, he sweetly makes sure his baby sister has what she needs and he purposefully checks to make sure "she is smiling" amidst his wildly creative adventures.  To which, as a sappy, gushy parent, I must say warms my heart more than any other random pop tarts and rainbows out there.

You know, he often reminds me of the character Big G in the movie That's What I Am (2011) and while I ardently pray that he never faces the bullying that Big G does, I am proud that GW demonstrates similar personality attributes of Alexander Walter's kind, self-assured, gentle giant character.  I only hope that I can parent him well enough that as he grows he becomes the person that he, himself, is happy with and proud of.

Happy half-birthday, my angel.  Love you lots.

4 Month Check Up

Left:  First family walk, December 4, 2012; GV one week old.
Right:  An everyday snuggle, March 20, 2013; GV week 20.
Oh my goodness. 

You know how some parents mistakenly turn away for a moment and find that when they come back their babies have rolled off the couch and are lying somewhere under the coffee table? Well, I know not to leave the baby unattended, but some how I turned around and inexplicably found that my little bitty baby isn't where I left her ... and in her place there is a gorgeous four and a half months old.  It doesn't seem like so many weeks have passed, but GV is 18 weeks old already and there is officially nothing about her that resembles a new born babe.  She's able to bear all of her weight when standing if you provider her balance, she giggles when you tickle her chin, she smiles whenever GW interacts with her and, even with her first tooth coming in (top right, poor thing!), she cries rarely.

She's turning into Little Toughie, Jr. 

We took her up to see the pediatrician this morning for her four month check up and, despite a mild case of cradle cap and a lingering cold, she's doing remarkably well.  She's growing and developing like any healthy baby ought to -- today she measured in at 16 pounds 1 ounce (96%), 25 inches tall (85%) and a head circumference of 16.5 inches (75%).   That's just shy of ten pounds in weight gain, 5 inches of added length and a whole three inches in head size since she was born in November!  So regardless of the complications that happened in the pregnancy, diabetes related or plain and simple bum-luck, she appears to be unphased by inutero trauma and perfectly thriving.  Thank God!

I must admit, however, we are having one problem with her...  With a beautifully even temperament and wonderfully chubby cheeks, GV is regularly accused of being "fake."  Because she's more often than not quietly, comfortably just watching the world around her from the safe vantage point of our arms or laps, passers by often jump (seriously) in surprise that our doll is "OH MY GOODNESS! REAL!" I have no fricking clue why people so regularly think that we'd burden ourselves with actively parenting a baby doll when we have a very, very active and curious 3.5 year old to wrangle, but given the fact that there are those out there that pay good money for life like, adorable baby dolls I take it as a complement that they assume my GV is perfect enough to mistake her for a dolly!

Happy Easter!

About two years ago now, HB and I began to talk about a void in our life that we'd previously disregarded:  faith.  Personally, not having grown up in a religious family or having any sort of spiritual expression, I'd only thought about the meaning of life or the "bigger picture" in existential terms, which worked for me.  But given the changes in our lives since 2006 when HB and I met, namely our marriage, arrival of children and my diagnosis, we began to wonder if there was something more than what we wanted to give the universe credit for.

Being self-identifying logical, rational and scientific people, it was a mental stretch to go from zero to GOD, but for this personal reason and that family value we opened the door for the possibility. Seeking a community of like minded, morals based people, a better acceptance of that which we don't understand and an avenue through which we can continue to pursue self-growth we methodically researched and discussed spiritual faith and organized religion.  Ultimately the right "fit" for our family became obvious and we made an active choice to open our hearts to the Grace and Love of God and our minds to the learning opportunities the Divine sets before us.

So, last night at the Easter Vigil, after months of RCIA preparation and personal prayer, I finally joined the rest of my family as an official Catholic.  We're so grateful to all of you who have supported us through this process and for the understanding you've freely given for the choices we've made for our life.  No matter what, if any, faith you practice I gratefully thank God for your kindness and compassion... I only hope that I may be increasingly grace-full in my actions and words so as to be to you what you've been to me.  Even if you randomly read this blog and don't know me from Adam, I appreciate your time and hope you find my blog to be helpful in whatever way it can be.

With that, Happy Easter to all!  

The Easter Bunny (who as we all know 

is a primarily benevolent pooka) visited

GW and GV while we were at mass.  He

left quite an egg adventure (which GW 

thoroughly conquered) and generously gave

the kids matching his & hers froggy friends.

Unfortunately he mischievously left some 

bunny droppings on the carpet, but hey, what can you expect from an invisible 

6 foot 3.5 inch tall rabbit?  

Lent Recipe #7: Pasta Alfredo

It's the last Friday in Lent (already?!) and that means this is my last abstinence inspired recipe for the year.  I've really enjoyed the last seven weeks of eating at home and, seeing as I've learned how to cook seafood I'd previously avoided, I think I'll be returning to several of these shrimp and fish recipes in the near future!  Although the recipe for tonight was incredibly unhealthy, it is obnoxiously easy and gets "I'd pay for this food" comments from Grandmama and HB -- which might in fact be the only compliment I actually accept.

Fettuccine (I use something smaller like girelle because it is bite size for GW)

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 stick unsalted butter, cut into pieces

2/3 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

2 Tbsp champagne vinegar

1 lb cooked shrimp
Parsley

Cook fettuccine in a pasta pot of boiling salted water until al dente.  Drain and set aside.

In a heavy skillet over medium-low heat, mix together the cream and butter and bring it to a gentle simmer.  Add roughly 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper (I typically do it to taste rather than measure, so this is an estimate).   Dump in about half of the Parmigiano-Reggiano and whisk until the cheese is no longer stringy and is fully incorporated into the cream sauce.  Repeat with second half of cheese.  Add the champagne vinegar for a touch of acidity and add more salt to taste.  Finally, throw in the cooked shrimp just long enough to heat through (don't over cook them!!) and remove the sauce from heat.

Toss the shrimp and sauce with the pasta and garnish with parsley.

USMC 26.2

It's official.  We're signed up.  We're running the Marine Corp Marathon in October!

I have been so reluctant to write about it for fear I'd jinx myself out of an entrance slot, but by the grace of God HB and I some how managed to secure two spots.  Sign ups were an overwhelming, exhausting experience -- and we haven't even started running yet!

Registration for active duty personnel opened a couple weeks back, but open public registration began yesterday at noon with the disclaimer that it was expected to sell out faster than last year (2012 registration closed in 2 hours 41 minutes).  As you can imagine, I sat staring at the clock waiting for my chance to spend far too much money on 26.2 miles hours before 12:00 rolled around.  Asking Grandmama to cover down on the kids so I had fewer distractions, I set multiple alarms on my phone and clung to my credit card for fear that I'd forget the number and absentmindedly miss my opportunity until October 2014 - which yes, is much too far away to satisfy my current motivation.

So with six minutes and 15 seconds left on their countdown widget, I held my breath in over excited anticipation of having something big to focus on and work toward... and then, just as the clock struck noon and I hit the "REGISTER NOW!" button my heart practically stopped when the "ERROR" messages immediately began.  Trying over and over and over again to access the sign in page the entire USMC Marathon page crashed, which apparently their "engineers [were] aware of the issue" and that I should "check back again in a short while."

Short while my eye!! I WAS NOT ABOUT TO WAIT PATIENTLY AND THEN BE STUCK ON THE SIDELINES UNTIL 2014!

Three times I managed to get to the form page, filled it out and burst into tears as their server crashed again and failed to let me purchase the entrance fee.  After one hour of furious cyber-warfare, repetitive prayers and multiple "Mommy needs to focus, don't touch the computer" comments to GW, HB and I decided to give up the ghost and forfeit the effort we were putting in when the "the race you have selected is no longer available" messages began.  Heart broken, I futilely hit refresh again and again and again waiting for the reality that we'd missed our chance to sink in.

But then... 1 hour 24 minutes after starting this battle, the form page miraculously reappeared in front of me.  Could it be?  I filled it out for me and the registration was added to my cart... I filled it out for HB and his registration was added to my cart... I put in the credit card info and hit submit...  and ...

Hallelujah!! So on October 27, 2013, for the first time, we're running a marathon!  Now that the "easy part" of registering is over, the fun part begins... TRAINING RUNS!

"If the ultimate goal is to reach heaven, the finish line, 

then we must train our hearts and our feet so as to win."

1 Corinthians 9:24

Bah, the inside joke.

For those of you who know me personally, you'll find this funny... for everyone else, ignore this and assume I'm hilarious.  

So my son, GW, really enjoys a game we call "BAH!" where he attempts to play hide and seek but fails to stay hidden because he would rather jump out and yell "BAH!" than wait to be found.  Last night, just as HB was arriving home from work, he was met at the front door by GW who was wildly yelling "BAH" as a combination greeting and game request.

Sweeping the child up into his arms and tossing him over a shoulder, HB walks into the kitchen where I am busily cooking and says, "He must get that from your side of the family."

To which I reply, "Yes, he bah's well, doesn't he?"

Lent Recipe #6: Rick Bayless' Chile-Garlic Shrimp

So this will be a quick post because it needs absolutely no ado, but let this warning suffice: this is not for the faint of heart!  I served this over plain home made pasta to cut the heat, but rice would probably have worked better.

Chef Rick Bayless' Chile Garlic Shrimp

1 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup chopped garlic
1/2 tsp salt
1 pint fresh figs (our grocer didn't have these, so I had to use dried)
1/2 cup almonds, toasted and chopped
2 limes
2 cans chipotle chiles in adobo sauce, drained, seeded and cut into strips
2 lbs prawns, peeled and deveined
3 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro or flat-leaf parsley

1.  In a small saucepan, combine the oil, garlic and salt and bring to the barest simmer over very low heat.  Cook, stirring occasionally until the garlic is golden brown. Roughly 10 minutes.

2.  Remove garlic sauce from heat and reserve 1 1/2 Tbsp oil  Add the fig and almond to the pan.

3.  Raise the heat to medium and squeeze in the juice of 1 lime and simmer until most of the juice has evaporated, about 5 minutes.  Stir in the chiles, taste and adjust the salt.  Reduce the heat to low and keep warm.

4.  Cut the remaining lime into 6 wedges and reserve.

5. In a large nonstick skillet, heat the reserved oil over medium high heat.  Add half the prawns to the skillet, sprinkle generously with salt and gently stir or shake until the prawns are just pink and opaque throughout, 3-4 minutes.

6. Stir in half the cilantro or parsley.  Remove from heat and transfer to a deep serving plater. Repeat to cook the remaining prawns.  Toss with the sweet garlic sauce to taste and pass the lime wedges.

Lent Recipe #5: Salmon with Shrimp, Mushroom and Brandy Cream Sauce

• With some very special friends in town this weekend, HB did the cooking tonight and I am so so excited to share his recipe.  Originally this recipe was meant for veal cutlets, but it's a Friday during Lent and I am absolutely, ridiculously in love with salmon so he swapped the cutlets for fillets.  We served the fish along side a green salad and oh my goodness (!!) I want him to cook this every night!
• 
  
• 6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter
• 1 red onion, halved, thinly sliced
• 8 ounces mushrooms, stemmed, caps thinly sliced
• 6 tablespoons brandy (get the best you can, the buttery quality of good brandy makes a big difference)
• 1 cup chicken stock
• 1 cup beef stock
• 1 cup whipping cream

• 6 ounce salmon fillets 

• 24 cooked shrimp, peeled, chopped

Melt 2 tablespoons butter in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Once frothy, add the onion and sauté for 4 minutes until it becomes translucent. Add mushrooms and sauté for 3 minutes until beginning to brown. Remove skillet from heat and add brandy. With the utmost care that you don't burn down your house or loose your eye brows, carefully ignite the brandy. When the flames subside, return the skillet to heat. Simmer the mixture until the brandy is almost evaporated - should take roughly 1 minute.  Add beef and chicken stock and let it boil for 5 minutes before adding the cream as well.  Let the sauce boil it coats spoon, about 14 minutes.  Toss the chopped shrimp into the sauce to heat through, then remove the skillet from heat.

In a separate skillet, heat 2 Tbsp oil and 2 Tbsp butter until frothy.  Sprinkle salt and pepper onto the salmon fillets and place in the pan.  Cook the fish for roughly 2-4 minutes per side until the salmon has a nice sear and flakes.  Remove from skillet.  

Divide the salmon onto plates and top with shrimp, mushrooms and brandy cream sauce.  ENJOY!

OWWWWWW!

Remember how I said I bought two new pairs of shoes? One pair of minimalist and one pair of normal running shoes? Well, I found out the hard way why they say to break them in slowly.

Seeing that it was the first beautiful, sunny day we've had in a while, we went up to DC for a run and picnic yesterday.  Intending to do only 3 miles around the National Mall and then a quite sandwich lunch near the Tidal Basin, I stupidly reminded HB that the last time we went up there we decided that the next DC run would include a trip up Capital Hill... which lengthens our typical route by 2 miles.  Ignorant of what the extra distance was about to do to my body, I was thrilled to be out for a run and the shoes felt fantastic as we powered up and back down the Hill!  I was moving easier, taking shorter strides and pushing off much harder than I had been previously - I remember at one point HB even commented that our running pace dropped down to 7:36!! Of course we haven't been running enough lately to hold that pace, but dang! These minimalist shoes dramatically change my gate and stride turn over!

About the time that we looped around the Reflecting Pool, I began noticing that my calves were tight and much more tired than normal.  By running on my toes instead of using a whole-foot strike, I was engaging my calves for essentially the first time, but I had no freaking clue how sore I'd be today.

AND OH MY GOODNESS.  I cannot move...  I look like a thoroughly broken, overly stiff old woman today!  Needless to say, I've learned my lesson: I will never again do long training runs in minimalist shoes!!

Oh, and thanks to Mommy Brain, I completely forgot
 about the marvelous invention of sunscreen.  OOPS.  At least they match.

Lent Recipe #4: Seared Scallops with Oranges

So as a special birthday dinner for me and my Mom, I decided to go out of my comfort zone tonight and cook one of my favorite foods: scallops.  I've always been intimidated by scallops because it seems oh so easy to screw up the cooking of them so that either wind up undercooked and gross or overcooked and rubbery.  But taking Lent as an excuse to try something new that I'd LOVE to order at a restaurant tonight, I fond a great recipe from Chef Curtis Stone that I wanted to try.

Fortunately for me, saving myself from permanent cyber embarrassment, the scallops turned out perfectly and the family gobbled them up with several compliments.  I think this one will permanently join my cooking repertoire... hope you like it too!

1.5 cups orange juice
2 tsp heavy whipping cream
5 Tbsp butter
1 Tbsp oil
12 jumbo scallops
1 blood orange, peel and white pith removed
Curly leaf parsley

In a sauce pan over medium heat, simmer the orange juice for about 25 minutes or until it reduces to 1/3 cup.  Add the cream and return the mixture to a gentle simmer.  Remove from heat.  A few pieces at a time, add the butter to the orange and cream reduction by constantly whisking until thoroughly blended.  Once all of the butter is incorporated, season the sauce with salt and pepper and set it aside in a warm spot to ensure that it doesn't break.

Place an empty, heavy based skillet over high heat for 2 minutes.  Meanwhile season the scallops with salt and pepper.  Pour the 1 Tbsp of oil into the hot pan and add the scallops.  Sear the scallops about 4 minutes on each side until they are just opaque in the center and golden brown on both sides.

Transfer the scallops to your serving dish and garnish with segments of the blood orange.  Drizzle your orange cream sauce over top and add an extra splash of color with with sprigs of parsley.

Can't believe I made that!! Go me!

3 Month Check Up

So I am having a really hard time believing that it has already been 3 months since my last endocrinology check up, but since GV is already 14 weeks old and time just seems to be flying past I guess I buy it.  Originally, my appointment was scheduled for two days ago, but seeing as this is Northern Virginia and any sign of snow makes the entire region shut down, the "snowquester" got it pushed back to this afternoon.

With GW, GV and Grandmama in tow, I met with the wonderful Dr. Rogacz for a routine diabetes check-up for the first time!  Pleased with my weight loss and new HgA1C number of 5.8 (that is down from 6.2 mind you), she announced she wasn't concerned about my diabetes care in the slightest and that I am doing remarkably well.

Inquiring about my longer term plans for additional pregnancies and care planning purposes, I told Dr. Rogacz I intend to spend the next 12+ months training for and running in endurance races.  Since pregnancies, diabetes and running don't work together in the slightest, she seemed a bit relieved to know we wouldn't be putting my body through more of that any time soon, but it did cause her to use a term that I dread from endocrinologists: CGM.

Pump with infusion site on right; CGM on left.

CGM, Continuous Glucose Monitoring, is a technology that works with insulin therapy to keep a diabetics blood sugar as tight as possible.  As an additional attachment to the body, the CGM tests blood sugar every four minutes and logs the results so as to indicate the trending direction of your blood sugar and therefore making it easier to catch it as it goes up or as it goes down.  It'd be incredibly helpful for me on my training runs, it'd ensure my safety overnight by alerting me to lows before they happen, it'd help me keep my A1C lower by giving me constant readings and I'd generally be armed with much more information than I currently get with just my Free Style Lite test strips.  Essentially it is an extraordinarily handy tool and wonderful technology to have... I just don't want it.

Here's my logic:

Because I wear an insulin pump and have an infusion site adhered to my body 24/7/365, I constantly carry a 2" by 3" by 1" visual reminder in my pocket that I'm diseased.  Granted it is an extremely helpful piece of plastic to have and I'd be worse off with out it (multiple injections are so not my thing), but I resent the fact that I LOOK diabetic because I wear this tubed device everywhere I go.  Now, if I were to add a CGM, not only would I be attached to the insulin port that is necessary for my pump to operate, I'd have this transmitting device inserted into my subcutaneous jiggle that would make it all the more difficult to hide my disease under my clothes.

I understand that it is incredibly superficial of me to be concerned about "looking diabetic" and how this beneficial technology would impact the fit of my sweaters, especially since most people don't know what they're looking at anyway, but hasn't diabetes already consumed enough of my life?  I mean I can't even have a cup of coffee in the morning without needing to compose my little grey cells enough to test my blood sugar and calculate my bolus, why should I give another portion of my abdomen over to yet another accessory for my broken pancreas?

Don't get me wrong, that was an entirely rhetorical question and I understand the benefits of it.  I mean, okay, there is something to be said for having an HgA1C estimate whenever I want and, hypothetically, it'd protect me from severe hypoglycemia by averting it's onset in the first place, but I'm incredibly sensitive to lows as is and assuming my daily readings stay within a certain range I know my A1C is where I want it to be without knowing exactly where it is.  Perhaps I am being stupidly stubborn on this, but STILL.  I'm just not ready for that.  I feel diabetic enough as it is.

Maybe sometime down the line I'll come around and will willingly participate in the next level of self-care, but for the time being my answer is HELL NO.    Sorry to disappoint you, Dr Rogacz, I'd love to be your shining star patient with all the bells and whistles, but I'll take my low-tech stellar A1C and go on my way.  See you in June.

New shoes!

Well, I knew the day was coming and, sadly, it is finally here: my Asicis Landreth are officially retiring.

I've had this pair for longer than I ever expected I would thanks to my nine month, GV-requested exercise hiatus, but with broken laces, worn tread and innumerable miles they're starting to cause a new twinge here, straight up pain there and simply need to be replaced.

While I am sure there are those out there that could not possibly care any less about my foot wear issues, I am positive that the runners among you can appreciate the physical necessity of a good pair of shoes and can identify with the brand loyalty that develops one you find the perfect Cinderella-fit.  For me, Asicis Landreth have been my glass slippers.  They've been my s(tr)ide-kick, running-buddies for some of my best races and one-on-one ego challenges with HB: the time I wound up beating him after he coaxed/dragged me (and the stroller) through a 5k; the race where I fell on the backstretch, was passed by a competitor and came back to beat her and win our age group; and, of course, my first half marathon.  Bottom line is that I thoroughly loved this design and I'd wear them forever... if I could.

The unfortunate, big time bummer is that Asicis stopped making this shoe.  For whatever reason they got it in their pea-brains that it wasn't selling well enough and that people who don't need extreme arch support don't need these kick-butt neutral shoes... I'm not bitter, really.   Anyway, I was completely heart broken to realize I'd have to start over in my search for running kicks, BUT trying to optimistically take a look at the bright side (odd, I know) I figured this was a great opportunity to try something new: minimalist shoes.

For those who are unfamiliar with running shoes, most, typical shoes have an 8-12 mm rise in the heel that provides cushion when your foot hits the pavement.  By switching to a minimalist shoe - or variation there of - you loose that height difference and force your body to create it's own cushion and stability by reducing heel strikes and forcing greater turn over through shorter, toe-dominant strides.  Essentially, these shoes change your gate and train your body to run with increased efficiency.

So there we are, no shit, at the running store and I'm picking out a pair of my own.  I looked at a bunch of different brands, heel heights and scoffed my way through the ridiculously colored women's shoes that are currently available on the market (seriously, what's with the neon?!).   Since all of the shoes were ugly and that held absolutely no weight in my decision, the test runs back and forth in the parking lot helped me make my final choice -  my foot strike is quieter in the 0 mm rise Mizuno Wave than any of the other 1-4 mm rise shoes available.  Since that indicates better form, volia! I found my new shoes. As you can see in the picture they have ZERO tread on the heel and should be 100% different from my Landreth, may they rest in peace.

Of course the warning that comes along with swapping from traditional running sneakers to minimalist shoes is that you should NEVER use them all of the time and you still need a normal pair as you transition.  So despite my reluctance to shy away from Asicis, I wound up getting a pair of New Balance 1080V2 to try out.  Admittedly they are significantly more ugly than the Landreth were, but until I've put several miles under our feet I'm going to keep the jury out on their success as a replacement training shoe.  I'll probably wear these for all of my longer runs and save the Miznuo for three mile or less "off days."

For better or for worse, I'll keep you posted.

Lent Recipe #3: Tuna Casserole

With a refrigerator stocked full with massive amounts of meat-filled left overs - veal bolognese, pesto-steak sandwich fixings and sausage stuffing - my motivation to cook yet another dinner was minimal.  However, seeing that it is Friday and it is still Lent, I needed to come up with something that was more than cereal to feed the gang... finding the vegetable drawer nearly empty and the pantry fresh out of just about all of my go-to ingredients, I decided that we'd pull out one of HB's hot dish recipes from Minnesota - the good, ol' tuna casserole.

We've tweaked the recipe some to fit our tastes and give it more substance, but it maintains the intended flavors of the original in the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook so I'll give it all the credit.

4 ounces noodles (I use fusilli or something like it)
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup chopped carrots
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp dry ground mustard
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
2 cups milk
5 cans tuna in water, drained
1 cup shredded cheese

Cook noodles according to package directions. Drain and set aside.

For sauce, in a medium saucepan cook celery, carrots and onion in the butter until tender.  Stir in flour, salt, dry mustard and black pepper.  Add the milk all at once; cook and stir until slightly thickened and bubbly. Combine sauce, tuna and cheese with the noodles.  Transfer to a casserole and bake, uncovered at 375 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes.

Work out buddies...

I was reading a blurb recently from Real Simple Magazine about how thin people stay thin and I was particularly struck by one point the article made: thin people have thin parents.  Citing that only 30% of this is genetic, the rest is environmental factors I am hopeful that HB and I are on the right track to keep our kids within healthy BMI ranges.

By modeling healthy choices and an active lifestyle, GW and GV are growing up with exercise as a regular, normal thing rather than something they'll have to learn about after possibly accumulating excess weight.   HB and I constantly take them out with us when we go for runs and they both seem to take their role in the process quite seriously - GW always yells "go go GO!" and GV wails whenever we slow down or stop, so it's definitely a family event.  Ultimately, when they're big enough, I fully plan to take them out jogging with us but for the time being their motivation is enough participation to keep us all satisfied.

Course, now that we are four days into Insanity both little ones are figuring out just how to be involved in our new exercise routine.  GW has decided that he's big enough to get his interval training groove started and, GV, well, as long as she's within arms distance (if not actually in arms) she's happy.  Perhaps it is not exactly the best way for us to do the work out and perhaps they're both trying to run before they can crawl (figuratively for one, literally for the other), but hey, they're at least starting down the road of a good habit and it's time together.    

Insanity!

Alright, people, the time has come... Sean T has officially re-entered the building!

For the first time since Fall 2011, HB and I restarted the Insanity work out routine today and, seriously, there is a reason the program is named what it is!  For those who aren't familiar with it, this 60 day program combines plyometrics, body-weight lifting and cardio interval training in a way that would make even the most fit, manly, stoic marine cry.  Constantly encouraging quicker speed and therefore more reps, Sean T makes a 30 minute work out feel like a three hour lifting session... it's insane!

The first day of the program is a fit test that is comprised of eight exercises lasting one minute each.  So along with before pictures (over my post-pregnancy body will those be posted until I have after shots to post as well!), this is a way to track your physical improvement as you progress week by week through the program.  While I am not exactly happy with my initial results here they are --

Switch Kicks: 84

Power Jacks: 49

Power Knees: 99

Power Jumps: 35

Globe Jumps:  8

Suicide Jumps:  15

Push-ups Jacks:  33

Low Plank Obliques:  53

The last time we did Insanity, we made it about four weeks into the program before we were worn out and in need of a much needed break (which we took as running a half marathon).  I'm really hoping that we can physically last longer this go around and get the same - if not better - trimming and toning results as before. Starting with a BMI of 20.3 and body fat reading of 18.3%, I have 6 lbs to go to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and 14 lbs left before I am back to my ideal weight.  We'll see how long this takes.

That said, I am disconnecting my pump, putting on three bras (so not kidding), rolling up the living room rug, and cursing Sean T for the ridiculous awesomeness that is INSANITY!