Tuesday, January 6, 2015


I feel like my whole world, including the baby, are upside-down.  Generally speaking, things are lining up where they need to be and they are heading in the right direction (literally, he's vertex), but that doesn't seem to be translating into anything except what I hope to be a short term stint of full on topsy-turvy.   When we moved into our new house two summers ago, I had every intention of leaving the place as is; the previous owner was an interior designer who'd clearly spent quite a bit of time, money and effort on designing a very formal, Virginian colonial theme to the place so it we've been treating the house as move in ready... but the longer we've been here, the more we've found that's needed replaced and the more I've started to feel like we are living in the previous owner's space and not in our own.  

Wishing to remedy that with at least one of the rooms we've yet failed to unpack (at least 1/3 of the house is still in boxes), nesting fever accosted the house as HB and I began to look at simple paint combinations for Baby #3's nursery and maybe a pinterest-sourced wall accent.  I don't know if you have looked at pinterest before, but what a life-sucking, bottomless-pit of amazing ideas... we could do this! Or we could do that!  Or... or... or... bottom line:  what initially started out as the bright idea to "spruce up the nursery" has morphed from a simple application of a few paint coats and maybe new carpet to what feels like a whole house make over. 

Thanks to Home Depot's gentle reminder that it'd be a better investment to take advantage of their free whole house carpet instillation and lifetime carpet/carpet pad warranty than to only superficially replace the carpet in one room, project creep seeped through our entire top floor: we've ripped the carpet and old carpet pad out of all four bedrooms in prep for new flooring to be installed on Thursday; we've repainted both the nursery and the kid's bedrooms top to bottom; we're soon to be wall papering a room for the first time (HB and I have only ever removed wall paper, so this shall be a learning experience); and, much to my literary glee, we've begun work with a contractor to build a series of built-in-bookshelves that will transform our main floor whatever-room into the dream library we've been fantasizing for years.   So you can imagine the mess the house is... both kids are camping in the master bedroom (so much for my bedtime reading routine), Grandmama is back to sleeping on the couch, there are four dressers crowding the landing upstairs and the dog is bunking with all of the extra furniture that needed to be piled elsewhere for safe keeping.  It's the epitome of absolute, piled to the ceiling, someone make more coffee, where's my left shoe, cereal for dinner, insanity. 

To make things more complicated and (to a spoiled wife like me) less pleasant, HB's work schedule has really ramped up due to an end of the month project review he must complete for his customer.  With a smaller than ideal team working on his particular program, this task - while not insurmountable - is demanding to say the least and causing his hours to lengthen both in the mornings and evenings.  While you might be sitting there thinking "so what?" I have to take this time to remind you that at 33 weeks pregnant, I'm going to NOVA for non-stress tests and sonograms once a week, soon to be twice a week, and that as of yet HB hasn't failed to attend a single prenatal appointment with any of our pregnancies.  Unfortunately, my appointment this week marks a first... we can't have him home to help with carpet installation (a must since I can't move furniture) and at doctors appointments and still enable him to make his deadline while simultaneously fighting shorter weeks due to the holidays being "forced" days off -- it's just not going to happen (#FirstWorldProblems).    So cutting slack where it's curable, he's not coming with me to my appointment(s?) and that makes me sad.  Perhaps I'm just whining at this point, but it's a big shift for us to have me head into the unknown with Baby #3 at the hospital on my own...  granted I'm carrying him on my own and I'm responsible for all things baby-making post x or y chromosome contribution, but it's been a team effort thus far and it feels like for the first time I'm fielding an incomplete roster for the MFM reindeer games. I'm sure that I'll get over it, but the anticipation of going solo tomorrow is nauseating for the time being.  

I guess at the end of the day, the boxes are all still getting checked: we're moving forward with nesting by creating total havoc in the house and the baby is being checked on even if only 50% of his parental team present.  I know it's all working toward a positive end state that is family-time oriented, but in the upside down world of progress I feel like my current steps forward are backward and the finish line is perpetually out of reach, yet somehow it's still rapidly approaching.  Hopefully this dizzy, confused feeling subsides and come Thursday evening we'll be so far past the remodeling, nesting, emotional mess we're currently working through that this blog post will seem utterly ridiculous in retrospect.

If I weren't pregnant right now I'd go back up to my bedroom, shut the door, put my arms out and spin around in circles like I have GW do to "change his attitude" in hopes that my vertigo would reorient life into some ultimately sharper form of clarity... but, since spinning while 8 months pregnant isn't exactly recommended, I'll just continue as is down what I can only understand to be an Escher interpretation of my life circa January 2015.

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