Monday, September 1, 2014

Okay, fine. I'll talk.


It's probably about time that I actually start writing again… for a long while I've been buried under a voluntary pile of community service work and my hectic schedule transformed itself into a convenient excuse to avoid writing about what I wasn't ready to share, but now that it's pretty darn obvious I haven't just eaten one or two too many burritos I'm pretty sure the shelf-life of my "busy" excuse is up.  

So… long story short… we're pregnant!  HB and I are excitedly expecting Baby #3 this next February and, as of right now, I'm just about 15 weeks along.  It's been difficult this go around to feel comfortable announcing our news given how rough things were with GV's pregnancy, but, let's face it, not writing about this baby-bump doesn't impact the way things go anyway so I might as well get over it.  

Goodbye running condition!

Things started out a bit on the scary-end of the scale for us as we went in for our 7 week viability appointment only to have the sonographer and perinatologist say the baby was measuring much smaller than it should.  Instead of showing a yolk-sac size appropriate to the estimated date of conception - which is initially based off of the first day of the last menstrual cycle and then confirmed by ultrasound - the yolk-sac size was measuring closer to 5 weeks of gestation.  Asking to repeat the test in one week, we went back in with hopes of getting better numbers… unfortunately still measuring small the doctors prepared us for the higher probability of a miscarriage… something, you can imagine, we were terrified to hear.  Repeating the ultrasound again the following week as requested, the numbers were at least showing consistent growth from one week to the next so the doctors felt at least comfortable enough to grant us a due date two weeks later than initially expected:  February 21.  

Obviously this size-discrepancy left us still very concerned about our small baby, but powerless to do much about it we were sent home to wait for further information.   With five weeks until my next prenatal appointment, i tried to find pro-active ways to help care for baby since all else was out of our control:  I decided to limit my physical activity to the stair stepper as I did with GV to keep my heart rate below 140 beats per minute (going on the previously identified concern that hyperthermia could hurt baby) and we cut my carb intake as much as possible to control my glucose levels.  Unfortunately I found myself regularly chasing lows as a result of morning sickness and this second attempt wasn't terribly successful, but with a bit of hands on help from my endocrinologist we smoothed things out. 

One thing Dr. Rogacz taught me that I didn't realize with the previous pregnancy is that the injection of symlin during pregnancy hasn't been formally FDA approved yet.  So while she prescribed that I use it for the later trimesters of my pregnancy with GV, she was adamantly opposed to the idea of starting symlin during the first trimester with Baby #3.  I found this to be somewhat disconcerting, but GV turned out perfectly fine and those injections helped me to regulate my glucose - and therefore her development - so I anticipate that I'll start them again here in a few weeks or months. 

Anyway, so the next few weeks went by ever so slowly with more weight gain and vomit than ideal, but we finally made it to the week 12 neural translucency test.  Knowing that if all goes well this test would be only the start of the flaming hoops I'd be jumping through in the second trimester, we anxiously awaited the doctors assessment on baby's growth… 

… 

And, thank God, heart rate and size were right where he wanted to see them!!  The weight of the world seemed to lift from my shoulders as we discussed the normal ranges they were discovering across the board… talk about music to my ears!  Granted the doctor warned that we'd need to start alpha fetoprotein testing week 16 - the tests were we started to see abnormal results with the second pregnancy - so the music may be short lived, but hey, where we are right now is a definite step in the right direction! 

I must admit that starting to finally talk about the pregnancy, while nerve wracking and definitely to a certain degree unsettling, is cathartic.  I've been so worried about judgement and commentary from the peanut gallery about this, that and the other thing that all my concerns and angst have been bottled for the past several months to the point of pure exhaustion.  I haven't so much minded the exhaustion up until this point thanks to the support from HB and Grandmama, but getting past this phase of stress and morning sickness, and into the second trimester honeymoon phase that was so unfortunately truncated last time will be a huge relief.  

So with that, you now know, and there's no going back from here.  More soon! 

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