Sunday, August 26, 2012

Agh!

So there are points in each of our lives when we all have one of those moments/days/weeks/whatever that just aren't going in our favor.  You know what I am talking about - the day you wake up already late for work, get a speeding ticket on the drive in, have a fight with a friend over lunch and manage to drop a meatball down the front of your white dress right before an important briefing and then you get home to discover your pooch ate the heel off the left shoe of your favorite pair of heels - you know, those days.  I've felt like things have been going pretty well lately - nothing new to report with the pregnancy, grades came back from Middlebury and were where I wanted them, and HB and GW are well all things considered - and I have been fighting the good fight to good effect.  But then, out of the blue, diabetes struck again!

I don't know what it is about the last couple days, yesterday in particular, but my sugars have been all over the map.  One minute I am slightly low and my body is exhibiting major hypoglycemia symptoms (seriously, last night I could have been running a marathon in 150 degree weather given how fast my heart was pounding and how hot I felt) and the next my sugars are soaring higher than I've seen in I don't know how long. All I can figure is that one of the following has to be true:  A)  I've been off on my carb counting; B)  my insulin resistence is ramping up; or, C) my body just plain does not know what to do about the specific carbs I've been eating. 

It's probably a combination of all of the above at any given point, but it is frustrating none the less.  I mean to vasilate between correcting a low with my three (yes, repeat that, three) starburst and then rage bolusing (this means injecting extra "unnecessary" insulin to correct for a high faster than waiting for active insulin to work) to correct the unexpected high is simply obnoxious.  I'm sure there are those out there thinking some extremely useful thought like "well, just eat two starbursts, dummy" and while you might have a point, it's times like this that I'm sooooooooo not interested in commentary about what I should or could do better with my diet or diabetes management. No offense meant, but let it be known I beat myself up enough over abnormal blood glucose numbers for all of us thank you very much.

The cherry on top of my bad diabetes day yesterday was in the middle of the Sound of Music Sing-A-Long HB, GW and I went to (oh so much fun!!) my pump freaks the heck out and reads the stop-you-dead-in-your-tracks, armagedon-is-upon-us, you've-got-to-be-kidding-me error code: "motor error." AGH!!  So while the thousands of people around me were belting The Hills Are Alive while Maria is twirling on the big screen, I go into pre-panic mode and have to reset my pump all the while hoping to God that the mechanics of my pump really aren't failing.  Exposing my huge belly to the crowd to disconnect the infusion site, I removed the resevoir from the pump and held my breath as I watched the piston rewind back into the gear box.  It beeped - rewind successful.  I reinserted my old, still full resevoir into the pump and went through the key stoke commands to reset it and watched it intently for additional problems.  And - thank God - it worked fine.  I exposed my belly again to hook it back up and promptly joined in the chorus of nuns and would-be-nuns in "hallelujahs!" (Thank you to the male-mother superior sitting in front of us for the extra blessing, ha.)

Okay, so maybe that wasn't an actual cherry on top of that particularly bad bg day, but those heart-racing moments of concern that my plastic, artificial insulin life line had been cut off scared the boohockey out of me.  Granted, I have back up insulin in the pen form back at the house and I'm not completely in over my head if my pump does actually fail, but seeing as I'm not always home, I don't carry my insulin pens with me (they need to be refrigerated) and time without active basal insulin in my system is not healthy time for the baby, I would really rather not need to go there.  Further more, I've fine tuned my diabetes care to the point that my bolus doses are within 0.05 units of exactly where I need them to be at any given moment... with an insulin pen, you can only dose in whole numbers thus requiring too little or too much insulin.  Let it be sufficient to say that without the pump, I am pretty sure my diabetes management and my sanity would be out the window.

I know that Medtronic has a 24 hour emergency hotline for full on pancreas crisises like that and that they would have either fixed my pump or gotten a new one to me as fast as FedEx can move it, so it's not the end of the world to have it break.  But given the cost of replacing it, the efficacy of treatment on the pump and the necessity - at this point in the pregnancy in particular - to be as close to non-diabetic as a type 1 can get, I'd really just rather not go there. 

Needless to say I said several many more diabetes related prayers this morning at mass and increased my morning bolus ratio and my afternoon basal ratio to hopefully combat any resistance issues I'm starting to face.  From the other pregnancy and diabetes blogs that I follow, it seems to be pretty typical that things get a bit out of hand right about now and continue to deteriorate as the third trimester approaches and wears on.  Hopefully I'll get to expereince the frustration of third-trimester insulin woes for several many weeks and Baby will be delivered after wk 36, but we'll just have to see how all of this unfolds. 

I head into the endocrinologist tomorrow morning for my first A1C check up since early this summer and I anticipate that it will be a good number.  I've only had issues the last several days and the past three months have been solid, so we'll see where that officially puts me in the rankings...

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